Breaking News…This just in…

Every news station wants to be the first to say they broke a story.  The problem is, it appears that nowadays, everything is ‘Breaking News’.  There are now channels dedicated to ‘Breaking News’ 24/7.  There have been interruptions of breaking news to highlight more important….’Breaking News’. I have an issue with this. 

Can someone tell me why celebrity gossip is ‘Breaking News’? Why must I know that Britney Spears flashed her ‘Spears’ whilst exiting a car?  Or that Lady Gaga said something outrageous to the president? Or why I must know that a chess tournament in Germany has been canceled due to protests about the unfair treatment of beetles?  What?  Or being informed that a 106 year old man died in his sleep?  He was 106! His youngest child was 75 and his grandkids were in their forties…C’mon!  This is breaking news? Really? 

These thoughts have inspired this..

Breaking News on Breaking News…

Leaders, citizens, neighbours and friends I have a story to break.

I know you’re busy with living your life so I’ll keep it brief, make no mistake.

This just happened, I saw it all first hand. I still can’t believe that it’s true.

If I wasn’t there to witness it myself, I’d think I was lying too.

It’s a major event, unlike another, it can only happen once in a lifetime.

I’ll tell you what happened, I’ll start from the top, this is sure to blow your mind.

I was standing at…wait…this just in…How do you break what’s already broken?

Breaking News are often just mindless words that are spoken.

– end

This clip is priceless.  Please read the ticker tape under the anchorman, too funny!

“Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s